How Was Your Weekend?

When I see others this morning, they will ask me, How was your weekend?

To which I will have no good answer.

Because my weekend wasn’t relevant. This weekend was our weekend. It was a global weekend, where the specifics of what I did or didn’t do are beside the point.

This weekend, people around the world celebrated the Spring Festival, also called Lunar New Year, especially across East Asia including places like China, Japan, Korea, Mongolia, and Vietnam.

This weekend, communities around the world joined together for International Holocaust Remembrance Day with tributes and events, including a beautiful one in West Hartford.

This weekend, the United States turned away people traveling from specific countries, with valid visas, detaining them for days, because of a presidential executive order.

This weekend, the White House issued a statement about the Holocaust that didn’t mention Jews or anti-semitism at all, instead remembering only “innocent people” who died.

This weekend, people marched. People spoke up. People connected. People said, we are a country of immigrants. We are a country of diversity. We believe in every person’s civil rights.

It wasn’t my weekend. It was ours. And it was quite a weekend.

I don’t know about all of you, but I have been overwhelmed lately, riding a rollercoaster cresting at the demonstration of our collective power and crashing on the awareness of the damage being done with each stroke of a president’s pen.

I have fallen short of words, again and again. I have fallen short of art to write about, not because there hasn’t been gorgeous, meaningful art being made, but because I didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t sound trite or hollow. I have tried to assuage my anxiety, disappointment, rage, and exhaustion with comedy, literature, music of every type. Sometimes, it helps me to forget for an instant. Often, it has felt like nails on a chalkboard, inadequate for my headspace.

So imagine my surprise when, amidst all of this, two movie scenes keep popping up, actually, succeeding in calming and comforting where others failed. They are not ones I would have guessed:

The scene at the end of Steel Magnolias, when Shelby (Julia Roberts) has died, and the ladies have a knock down dragout screaming match. Sally Fields, playing the grieving mother, pops veins in her face and neck where I never knew we had them. Then smart-ass Ouiser (Shirley Maclaine) makes a crass comment and they laugh through their tears.

Forgive me, I might have the sequence slightly off (it’s been at least 20 years since I’ve seen it, after all). That scene, old as it is, still resonates as a perfect example of the rush of emotions that comes with grief and the comfort that comes with true friends.

The other scene comes from Moonlight, when Chiron is taught how to swim by his mentor, Juan. As a reluctant swimmer myself, the intimacy of that scene and the patience that Juan displays provide a deep sense of comfort. The fact that swimming becomes a lifeline for Chiron shows this moment as a true gift. Somehow, thinking back to that scene helps me connect to giving, kindness and comfort.

They don’t fix today’s issues, and we have so much work to do. But they do provide some relief.

What are your guideposts right now? Your go-to art, entertainment or otherwise to help keep you in the game and on your toes? I can’t wait to hear.